Why do I blog?
I don't exactly know. I read in an article once that before anyone begins a blog they should keep a paper journal for three weeks, and if they continue to write in it, AND then re-read it to see if it is the least bit interesting then you should blog. I suspect I would fail on both counts.
I like to keep a record, and this is the purpose of the kids' blogs. But I don't need much a record since my days are so similar and my personal growth rate has slowed to a snail's pace. I like to share my life with my friends but at this point I am wondering if maybe I've been gone too long and my feeble attempt at a blog is not enough to keep the 'connection' alive. I like to share my thoughts and I think that I have something to contribute, but I also think I am too dependant on the affirmation of others. (facebook junkie right here...) If I want to maintain connection maybe I should just email people but in this day and time of being connected at a distance.. being open but not to open, vulnerable but not vulnerable, personal and yet impersonal. I have too few hours in the day; maybe I should devote my time to learning Chinese or church work or learning how to do more than facebook on my iPhone, but yet I can't give it up.
I have 25 followers, but I don't know hardly any of them. Is that weird? Time to privatize, renew my connection with real friends and get more people I actually know on my reader list? Do you feel connected to me through my blog?
Truth be told, I am feeling homesick in this season. Although we've had nice weather the last 5 days before that was weeks and weeks of gray and rain and cold. It's always hard to celebrate Christmas overseas, and then to go back to work after a great vacation. This time of year is also terrible as people make their 'leaving Taiwan' announcements and we prepare for another season of goodbyes. It's hard and also a little heart hardening to be the one who always stays. You welcome people into your church and your home and your heart, but most people do not come to Taiwan to stay in Taiwan. They are here and then gone, bright blooms in a garden, and then fall comes too quickly and snatches them away. We say will keep in touch but we don't. My 6th year at Bethany gives me seniority over 80% of our staff and Chris has pastored the Pearl for more than half of its existence, and my kids have never lived anywhere but here. My kids have never seen snow. 'Nuff said.
The thing I like the least about blogging is the constant need I feel to defend myself. Even now, I want to say Sorry for feeling homesick and I am dreading the 'then why don't you move home?' comments. So why put it out there on the internet for everyone to see if you don't like the negative comments? Exactly my struggle in the blog, or not to blog battle.
4 comments:
I enjoy reading your blog, especially funny stories of Gem and Guin.
Your blog gives me more insight to the wonderful woman, Nevada, is. My family is lucky to have this woman as wife to our son and mother to our little ones. Through your blog we are able to share life since we cannot have coffee together and discuss these events and struggles. I want to be there to help but for now I have to trust God has things under control because He has called your family to be in Taiwan for His purposes. Keep blogging when time allows.
I like your blog. But what I really wish is that I could see you more. Maybe we should stop blogging and spend more time visiting? (although I only ever blog after 10pm...). Come visit and we can chat about feeling homesick (because I will be thick in it after my family leaves) and how sad it is that our kids have never seen snow. xoxoxo
Blogs give us family and social connection. In these days when we have family spread across continents and HAVE Blogging PLEASE continue.
When you feel like you need to defend yourself remember GOD made you and YOU seek God AND GOD DOES NOT MAKE JUNK!
Rest in His love and the love of those you KNOW love you unconditionally. The others are just noise trying to seperate you from God.
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