Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagles.
I've had this verse on a post it near my bed for the last few weeks as my struggle with the question"When did I get old?" continues. I remember not being old. I remember high school, getting up at 8 and going to bed at 10:30, and not being tired every second of every day, hanging out with friends, talking on the phone, doing stuff, babysitting.... I remember university, and that was fun too. A littel more tiring but generally there was time for a nap in the ed lounge when neccessary. Still lots of social time, phone calls, fun plans, etc. I even remember my first full time job, as a playground leader, and that to me was so fun. I had a great time at that job, this was in 2001. And I wasn't old yet. Teaching in Kaohsiung was a little more draining...I was more tired then but still fun. I think my first official feeling old came when I was teaching in Kindersley last year. To be fair to my profession, I don't think that teaching made me old. I think that working full time made me old. I feel old because I am always tired, things I used to find funny aren't anymore, I am less creative, I laugh less, and cleaning my house is fun. And those are good things; I worked hard to get to a full time job, and I like having a clean house. So I guess Im not complaining about the things I do as an old person. I guess I just wish I didn't feel so tired and old on the inside. Which brings me back to Psalm 103:2 with some insight into staying youthful; Praise the Lord, and don't forget the good things he's done for you. He satisfies my desires, so that my youth may be renewed.
I have way to much living to do to be old yet. The fight is on!