Mermaids and Whales

I got this forward from my cousin, and thought it was so great. Enjoy...

Mermaids and Whales -- Recently, in a large French city, a poster
featuring a young, thin and tan woman appeared in the window of a gym.
It said:

"THIS SUMMER DO YOU WANT TO BE A MERMAID OR A WHALE?"

A middle-aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match
those of the woman on the poster, responded publicly to the question
posed by the gym.

To Whom It May Concern:

Whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, curious
humans). They have an active sex life, they get pregnant and have
adorable baby whales. They have a wonderful time with dolphins
stuffing themselves with shrimp. They play and swim in the seas,
seeing wonderful places like Patagonia and the coral reefs of
Polynesia.

Whales are wonderful singers and have even recorded CDs. They are
incredible creatures and virtually have no predators other than
humans. They are loved, protected and admired by almost everyone in
the world.

Mermaids don't exist. If they did exist, they would be lining up
outside the offices of psychoanalysts due to identity crisis. Fish or
human?

They don't have a sex life because they kill men who get close to
them. Therefore they do not have kids either. Not to mention, who
wants to get close to a girl who smells like a fish store?

The choice is perfectly clear to me; I'd rather be a whale.

P.S. We are in an age when media puts into our heads the idea that
only skinny people are beautiful, but I prefer to enjoy an ice cream
with my grandkids, a good dinner with my husband and a coffee/lunch
with my friends.

With time we gain weight because we accumulate so much information and
wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room it distributes out
to the rest of our bodies. So we aren't heavy, we are enormously
cultured, educated and happy. Beginning today, when I look at my butt
in the mirror I will think, Good gosh, look how smart I am.